Lord where is my husband? I am tired of being single. Everybody's got a man but me. I am ready to get married.
If I had a dollar for every time I heard a single woman make one of those statements, I would be a billionaire. Yes, rich beyond my wildest dreams! So many of us single Christian women claim we are ready to be married. We have been single for awhile and now we desire to be married. And truly my sisters, there is nothing wrong with that! But is here the problem, a lot of us are not married because we are not ready. Now I know some of you are rolling your eyes and shaking your heads and saying whatever, "I AM READY!" But ready by your standards and God's standards are two different things.
The reason a lot of us think we are ready is because we are tired of being lonely. We are tired of being by ourselves. The whole strong independent woman notion gets old when you are lying in the bed by yourself every night. But just because you are lonely doesn't mean you are ready.
So today I want you to examine your readiness and measure it according to the Word of God. Many people say there isn't a manual or a book on how to be a wife. But to the naysayers, I disagree. There is a book and it is full of instructions on how to be a good wife. And not only a good wife but a virtuous wife. So today were going to read about of those instructions and see how you measure up. Do you have the characteristics or virtues that God requires to be a virtuous wife since you say you are ready? Let's find out.
"Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies."
There are many women who are good wives. They are loving, loyal and faithful to their husbands. But that doesn't make them a virtuous wife. A Virtuous wife is a woman after God's own heart. She is godly woman. A woman who puts God's first in everything she does and before everyone else in her life. So are you that woman? Do you truly put God first? Are you only seeking God because you want a husband? God knows it is your heart desire to be married but He said in His Word if you delight yourself in Him then He will give you the desires of your heart.
So are you delighting yourself in the Lord or complaining to Him why you are not married? Remember this Word, "Fathers can give their sons an inheritance of houses and wealth, but only the Lord can give an understanding wife."
Second, are you even worthy to be a wife? Proverbs 12:4 says, "A worthy wife is a crown for her husband, but a disgraceful woman is like cancer in his bones." A godly wife is loving, supportive and submissive to her husband. She brings out the best in him. Because of her, he shines and is blessed in everything he does. That's why the Word says, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord." A godly woman is gift to her husband. Proverbs 31:11-12 says, "Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life."
Are you a good thing? Or you the other type of woman. The woman tears her husband down and is controlling, manipulative and clinical. All you think about is your want and your needs. You know the type that is all about yourself and your man is just a pawn. Perhaps, you have a Jezebel spirit? See a goodly woman builds her husband up but a foolish woman tears him down. So do you build men up or do you constantly tear them down? Ponder on this scripture, "So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."
Third, are you an honorable woman? Proverbs 11:16 says, "A kindhearted woman gains honor." The key part of that verse is a kindhearted woman. Not a mean hearted woman. Not a selfish woman. Honor comes from living righteously and holy. No one honors a whorish woman or vain woman. That is only reserved for godly women.
So do you live an honorable life or do live a worldly life? Do you party and club all the time? Are you still practicing fortification? Because if you are, that disqualifies you from being an honorable wife. So maybe you need to change your lifestyle so you can be become an honorable wife.
Next, are you the type of woman who can submissive to her husband? The Word says, "Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands." The first true test of that submissiveness is being submissive to Christ while you are single. Are you truly submitted to Christ or are you still flirting with the world. Are you letting Christ lead your life or are you leading your own?
If God is not leading your life now, you are going to have problems letting a man lead you as your husband and head of the household. Colossians 3:18 says, "Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord." If you are truly ready to wife than you are truly ready to be submissive to man because you have already been submissive to Christ. 1 Peter 3:1-2 says, "In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives."
Last and most important, are you a woman of godly character? You've been praying for a godly man but are you even a godly woman? 1 Timothy 3:11, "In the same way, their wives must be respected and must not slander others. They must exercise self-control and be faithful in everything they do."
Are you a gossiper? A woman who constantly puts other down or do you encourage and build others up? Do you have a bad attitude and are quick to go off? If this woman is you, I am sorry to tell you; you are not ready to be a wife. You need to work on your attitude and you need to quit gossiping. You can't pray for a godly man but act like a woman of the world. The two don't mix. So now is time to change your worldly ways and work on your attitude if you want God to send you a godly man.
So after all of this, can you honestly say you are truly ready to be a wife? Are there any areas you can improve? There are definitely some areas I can improve on! Many times we think we are ready to be wife, but the truth of the matter is we still need some more time for God to prepare us. There are still rough edges in our life that need to be smoothed out. Some crooked places that need to be made straight. Now though none of us are perfect, God wants to make sure we truly become a good wife.
Remember the man who finds a good wife finds a good thing. Notice the Word says a good wife not good woman because before the man finds her she is already a wife. So right now you might be a good woman but you haven't quite become a good wife. And that's okay because God is still preparing you.
So today I want you to truly evaluate yourself and ask God to show the areas you can improve on so you become a good wife. I encourage you to read Proverbs 31 tonight. That is the model wife that all of us should strive to be with God's help. Remember a good wife is gift and bad wife is curse . Which will you be?
"Live happily with the woman you love through all the meaningless days of life that God has given you under the sun. The wife God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil." Ecclesiastes 9:9