“We are Living Single…Ooo in a millennium kind of world...I'm glad I got mah gurls.” That’s that modern remix! We are not living in the 90s but we are still living single! Today let’s discuss how we can be “Single and Loving it.”
Earlier this week when I posted the title to this blog post on my twitter page, a girl got upset with me and exclaimed how I could I love being single if I desired marriage. She seemed very puzzled and distraught that I felt this way. She acted as if my love for singleness was a plague and marriage was the cure. But I am here to tell you like Paul told the Philippians “For I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content."
Yes I desire marriage and I am sure some of you ladies do too. But until God sends my Boaz, I will love the life He has given me right now and be content in it. And right now His desire for me is to be single. God tells us in His Word in Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
God knows the plans He has for us. And right now it is God’s plan for us to be single. So are we not to embrace our singleness? For some women, the answer to that is question is no. Society teaches us as single women are main focus should be on how to attract a man. So we need to reading books and watching TV shows about how to get a man. I guess we are supposing to be going in droves to Barnes and Nobles and picking up Steve Harvey’s book “Think Like A Man, Act Like A Lady.”
Well not me. There is a book that teaches everyday on how to attract a man it’s called the Holy Bible. And in Proverbs 18:22 it teaches me “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” The key in that scripture my dear single ladies, is he will find the wife-the man. The man will find us. So unlike what the world tells us we don’t have to spend our times looking for him or trying to attract him.
So what should we do while we are single if our life doesn’t consist of finding a man? Well I am glad you asked! 1 Corinthians 7:34 says, “The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit.”
Right now as single women of God our number one focus should about the cares of the Lord. We should be about our Father’s business. We need to be working in our God given purposes, callings, and destinies. We also need to be dedicated to living a life of holiness in both our bodies and spirits. So for you ladies who have been fornicating and shacking up-STOP!!!!!
As single women of God our focus should be centered on God and on living a life of holiness and righteousness. We can’t call ourselves Women of God if we are living like single women in the world. They don’t have the same morals, values, and spiritual beliefs we do. In their world it is okay to be single and having sex. In their world it is okay to focus on everything but God. But is but okay for us? ABSOLUTELY NOT!
Before I dedicated my life to Christ-I was a fornicator. I thought like most women in the world that it was okay to have sex before marriage. But it is not. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 says, “God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor— not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways.”
It in this sex driven world it is hard to stay for sex and lustful desires. Our world is driven by sex. Everything tells us to have sex, want sex and sex is okay. But it is not. Sex before marriage causes us to form ungodly soul-ties. When we have sex with a person we become one with that person and the only person God intended for us to become one with is our husbands. So sex before marriage is out of line with God’s order and plans for our lives. Remember God does everything “decently and in order.” It is we who disrupt His plans for our lives by having outside of marriage.
Colossians 3:5 says, “So put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you. Have nothing to do with sexual immorality, impurity, lust, and evil desires." So if you are struggling with sexual sin you need to go before God and pray for deliverance. God has the power to deliver you from anything. You just have to ask and go to Him. It is neither His desire nor His will for us to be bounded in the bondage of sexual sin.
So quit entertaining men who only desire sex from you. You say you desire marriage. Well Boaz found Ruth working in the field. Your Boaz cannot find you if you are in the bed having sex with Mo-Az (interpret that name however you like lol). Ladies, like Ruth we need to be working in the field until our Boaz find us. Like Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7:35, “I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.” And sex is a distraction! So let’s agree to live a life of purity and move along from this topic shall we.
During our single season, we should be focused on discovering who are in God. We should be finding out what are God given talents and gifts are. What are purposes are. This is should be a time of self-discovery and intimacy with God. Now there will be times will loneliness will creep up on us and make us start to feel self-pity for ourselves because we don’t have man. It will cause us to be bitter and jealous towards other women who have a man.
Well I don’t know about you but I am not alone. I might not have a man but I have God and he promised to never leave or forsake me so I am never alone. And if you have God you are not alone either. Being lonely and being alone are two different things and don’t you ever get them twisted.
We all get lonely sometimes. We all long to have the affection from a man. We all want to be held sometimes. We all want to be kissed sometimes. We all want a man to tell us we are beautiful and that he can’t breathe without us. Yes, Yes, and yes WE ALL DO! And that is a natural human feeling.
But for you ladies who think you are alone and feel lonely here is a Word just for you. I want you to download this in your Spirit. Isaiah 54:5, “For your Maker is your husband--the LORD Almighty is his name--the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth.” Until God gives you a man on this earth to marry-HE IS YOUR HUSBAND!!!!
Understand this ladies, God loves you more ever know or comprehend. No man on this earth not even your future husband will love you as much as God loves you. So I want you to know that he desires to be your husband right now. He wants you to love Him, want Him, desire Him with the same want and desire you have for your future husband. So will you allow God to be your husband?
Proverbs 19:21 says “Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” Why am I still single? Why didn’t my last relationship work out? Because though it is your plan to be married right now, it is God's plan for you to be single. Right now you are still in the preparation stages. He is still perfecting you and molding in you in the Virtuous Woman so you can be the Virtuous Wife. So don’t rush God's timing, enjoy your singleness and let everything fall into place.
Now we have discussed on how God wants us to live while we are single but I want to give you some of my personal tips on how to maximize your single life until your marriage season arrives. So here are some of my personal tips on how to be “Single and Loving It.”
- Develop an intimate relationship with God. God is your husband right now. So be a faithful, committed wife. Don’t cheat on God with the World. Draw closer to Him and He will draw closer to you..THIS I CAN PROMISE YOU!
- Live On Purpose-Wake up every day like you a have purpose to fulfill because in all actuality you do! Pray that God reveals to you your God given gift and talent and start using it. God gives us all assignments-so ask Him to give Him yours and start doing the work! When you are busy in your purpose you won’t be focused on not having man.
- Find a hobby-In your downtime when you are not working or in school find a fun activity you like to do. Whether it’s making jewelry, writing poetry, or taking dance classes find a fun activity you like to do and start having fun. For me, I like to write poetry and I have quite an obsession with the TV show Scandal!
- As Queen Latifah sang, “I am glad I got mah gurls”! This is the time for you to be spending as much time with your friends as you can. When you are married you won’t be able to hang out with your friends as much. So right now, Girls Night Out should definitely be in order at least twice a month! I am just saying! Go out with your girls and have fun!
- Let Go and Let God-This pertains to letting go past relationships. Some of us are still holding on to the hurt and pain of our last relationship. We are still emotionally hurting and we need healing. So take this time while you are single to heal. Give God the pieces to your broken heart so He can put them back together again. It’s time for you to be free.
So single ladies Jesus tells us in Matthew 6:33, “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” All things will be added to us when we seek God first. So marriage will be added unto us. Your Adam or Boaz will find you. So stop looking for him because he is looking for you. But until he finds you enjoy your single life! Love it! Embrace it! Remember “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.” Marriage will come in its season and its time! So until then sing with me, “We are Living Single…Ooo in a millennium kind of world...I'm glad I got mah gurls!”